Jokes unlimited.....

[jain.peeyush]

Some of us are afraid of being happy, when you come to think of it, it is really stupid. We need to carry around with us as much sunshine as we can. It helps to cheer other folks. So, let?s try to cheer up ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

[jain.peeyush]

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said:
"Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!".
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a car driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years.

[jain.peeyush]

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple?s house after dinner wives went to into the kitchen. The old gentlemen were talking, and one said, ?Last night we went to a new restaurant, it was really great. I highly recommend it.?
The first man thought very hard but did not recall its name. Finally he said, what is the name of the restaurant??
The first man thought very hard but did not recall it too. Finally he said, ?What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know the one that is red and has thorns.?
?Do you mean a rose?? asked his friend.
?Oh yes,? the man said. He turned towards the kitchen and yelled, ?Rose! What?s the name of that restaurant we went to last night??

[jain.peeyush]

Two friends met each other after a long time. One said to other “Friend! I thought that you might have dead, God Forbidden.” “How do you think so?” other asked to him surprising. “In fact, I went to somewhere some days ago and the people were admiring you very much there.”

[jain.peeyush]

A very rich couple was sitting in a park, a boy of ten years old came and said, “ If you could give me only five rupees, I shall find my lost parents. Rich man took pity on him and gave him five rupees. Wife of rich man asked the boy where your parents are? The boy replied they are enjoying picture in the cinema.

[jain.peeyush]

A customer of Food Bakery had a complaint against the pastry that he was not given fresh. The baker said that your blame is wrong. I have great experience of baking pastries. I have been baking pastries since the time you were not born. “May be” the customer said, “but why have you been selling the pastries of that time, now”?

[jain.peeyush]

At a river bank a crocodile caught an Indian lady by her leg and started letting her in to the water. The woman cried bitterly. Suddenly crocodile whispered, “Darling! Don’t be so formal, have you forgotten that we were husband and wife in our last birth.”

[jain.peeyush]

Two natives of a very backward continent when entered in developed continent, they saw a car running on the road. “OH! Which kind of animal is this”? Said one to other. “OH! Look at this,” other fellow cried to see a motorbike “Its calf has also come.”

[jain.peeyush]

Wife of a miserly husband asked to his husband “Does money really speak?” when he was leaving for other city. “Yes” husband replied hesitantly. “Then please leave some money on the dressing table, I feel loneness in your absence.

[jain.peeyush]

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table & says – What a shit ?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all" ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory